FAT is only a three-lettered word but a loaded gun that’s usually shaped like an insult, a handy tool for bullying that can bludgeon your perception. Weight is an extremely sensitive topic. Say no to fat shaming!
I fathom that many a times we struggle with setting boundaries for our own sanity later on respect other people’s boundaries. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, a leadership, psychologist and boundaries expert: part of boundaries is knowing what our job is and what is not. Unless you are someone’s doctor, mother, father, spouse, very close sibling or friend, you absolutely have no business commenting about one’s weight. Opening this door requires substantial relational capital with the person. Relational capital embodies a well bonded relationship established between individuals, stemming from a strong sense of belonging, highly developed capacity of mutual cooperation typically developed and nurtured overtime. Just because you went to school with someone, go to the same church or even work in the same company gives you no right to comment, provide suggestions, subliminal messages or clues about how or what one ought to do about their weight. “You have put on weight!” is not a greeting!
In some instances, there is more to the story beneath the ‘fat’ looks. Did you know that some people are obese because of medical reasons?
Even when you mean well, when you open this door, please ensure that you are well equipped and prepared for the successive conversation to get emotional and messy at times. Be tactful, truthful, sensitive, empathetic, and above all graceful in your approach as you choose your words carefully.
Here are 7 things you ought not say to a ‘fat’ person…
01: YOU ARE NOT FAT!
They can see right through you- please stop!
02: YOU WILL NEVER GET A PARTNER BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!
How do you know the plans God has for them?
03: HAVE YOU GAINED MORE WEIGHT?
It’s another way of saying; you look worse off than before….
04: ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ALL THAT?
You are subtly suggesting the person doesn’t need the food in the first place….
05: SHOULD YOU BE WEARING THAT?
They first looked at and were comfortable with the person they saw in the mirror before they left home….
06: HAVE YOU TRIED EXERCISE?
Unless they are three (3) months old, we live in an information age…..
07: YOU WOULD BE SO PRETTY IF YOU WEREN’T FAT!
Beauty lies in the hands of the beholder….
“If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always!” Robbin Williams
Selah….